Behind the Pages: The Story Behind the Story

This book lived inside me for over a decade before I found the courage to let it out.

I started writing I Was Once The Girl In The Red House on and off for 10 years picking it up when I felt brave enough to face my past, then setting it aside when the pain became overwhelming. There were countless drafts, countless tears, and countless moments where I nearly gave up.

Why I Almost Didn't Publish This

At one point, this was just going to be a collection of letters all the things I wished I could say to my mother but never did. Those early drafts were raw, angry, written from a place of deep hurt. Looking back, I'm grateful the book didn't come out during that phase of my healing. It wouldn't have been the transformation story it is today.

I needed to heal before I could finish my book.

The Writing Process That Changed Everything

Each chapter forced me to confront memories I had buried. Some days, I could only write a paragraph before becoming emotionally exhausted. Other days, the words poured out like they'd been waiting years to be released.

What surprised me most was how the act of writing changed me. When I began, I was still very much in the anger phase of grief. But somewhere along the way, as I put words to my experiences, something shifted. The anger transformed into something more powerful: determination to break the cycle, to create a different story for my children, and to help others who might see themselves in my words.

The Hardest Decision: How Honest to Be

How much should I share? How raw should I allow myself to be? In the end, I chose truth sometimes brutal, sometimes beautiful, but always authentic. Because I realized that the parts of my story I was most afraid to tell were exactly the parts that someone else needed to hear.

The Letters That Saved Me

The chapter containing letters to my mother spans many years and emotional states. For every letter included in the book, there were dozens more, some too painful, some too personal to share. Writing those letters was my way of speaking truths I had never been allowed to speak.

For the Cycle-Breakers

If you're reading this, chances are you see something of yourself in my story. Maybe you're trying to break a cycle that's been in your family for generations. Maybe you're a parent determined to give your children what you never had.

You are not alone. And you are not doomed to repeat the patterns you were raised with.

Ready to begin? The red house is waiting, but so is your freedom